The Daily Song You Got Me Recorded by Gavin DeGraw/Written by Diane Warren October 31, 2016

I have been going through a difficult time lately due to some crazy medication interactions coupled with really severe insomnia, which has done a number on my mood, concentration and focus.  Suffice it to say that I have NOT been myself lately.  My husband has been a rock the last couple of months while I negotiate this minefield.  This song, written by the incredibly talented Jennifer Warren and recorded by Gavin DeGraw really reminds me of how beautifully he has risen to the occasion.  The lyrics for this great song can be fund below the video.  

You Got Me

When the fear takes you down
When the doubt takes you under
When you sink like a stone
And you can’t breathe
When the tears take control
When the demons take over
Won’t be in this alone
You got me

Ooooooooo
Ooooooooo yeah
Ooooooooo
You got me

When the walls all cave in
When the nights all get colder
When you hang by a thread
of sanity
Rest your head on my heart
Hang your pain on my shoulders
Make your way to my arms
Cause you got me

Ooooooooo
Ooooooooo yeah
Ooooooooo
You got me

I’ll be the one to lead you home
I’ll be the one to keep you warm
I’ll take you in out of the storm
When you can’t stand I’ll stand up for you

When the fear takes you down
When the doubt takes you under
You’re not in this alone
You got me

Ooooooooo
Ooooooooo yeah
Ooooooooo
You got me

I’ll be the one to lead you home
I’ll be the one to keep you warm
I’ll take you in out of the storm
When you can’t stand I’ll stand up for you

 

 

Unrequited V/The End July 3, 1989

This is the final piece of poetry in a series written in 1988 and 1989.  This was written over a year after the original four pieces when life after college continued to unfold in ways that I couldn’t have expected.  This was my first real adult heartbreak, which occurred when the two people I loved most in the world fell in love with each other.  It was no one’s fault and felt inevitable, even to me at the time.  This was written during a sleepless night on my front porch in Sommerville, MA while I played Melissa Etheridge and tried to figure out “what next?”   There were many interesting answers to that question, but those stories are for another day.

 

I am not dying of my broken heart

I am living

I am trying to savor all the beauty

And all the hope

And all the passion

That the world offers me

And hold it close.

 

Living

Not quitting

Not dying

But living

Feeling and touching life

Is the only thing I know how to do.

 

It is a struggle sometimes

The gaping black hole of my pain

Can swallow all that I have gathered

And I am left wrenched open.

Naked.

Torn.

Confused.

Overwhelmed.

The cramps seize my stomach

And sobs wrack my body.

I know what my heart breaking sounds like.

In my pain I have finally found my voice.

“NO!” My screams echo in the empty bathroom.

 

The real betrayal is by my own heart.

My heart does not forget love

My heart still feels. . . still wants

Even though my head knows

The foolishness and futility

Of feeling and wanting

Or, at least, of feeling and wanting this.

I’ll be fine on my own

I need to give myself my full attention and love

I owe it to myself.

But sometimes it would be nice to be held, touched

To be found beautiful, desirable. . .

In time I keep telling myself.

It will just take some time.

 

The Daily Song Touching Heaven Johnnyswim 10/30/2016

Music is a big part of my life and I hear at least one song daily that really blows me away.  I have a deep fondness for music that gives me the “feels”– today’s choice is Johnnyswim’s gorgeous Touching Heaven.  Part gospel, part beautiful love song, part tribute to parenthood, this has harmonies to die for.  It is worth your while to check it out. The lyrics can be found below the video.

 

Touching Heaven

All I see are angels
All these streets are gold
That lead to you
If touching love is touching God
No wonder I’m in heaven, when I’m holding you
Simple as a song, a melody repeating in this heart
I don’t know when the chorus came
Where I heard it first, or when it started

I won’t be holding my breath for chariots
I’m not just waiting for skies to part
You’ve been my glimpse of Kingdom right from the start
And you got me touching heaven, ooo
Got me touching heaven, ooo

So tell me what you’re dreaming, tell me what it is
Your dream come true
I don’t need a map to find a hidden treasure
There, ain’t no hiding you

I won’t be holding my breath for chariots
I’m not just waiting for skies to part
You’ve been my glimpse of Kingdom right from the start
And you got me touching heaven, ooo
Got me touching heaven, ooo
Got me touching heaven

You’re my hallelujah
You’re my hallelujah
Yes you are
You’re my hallelujah
You’re my hallelujah
Yes you are
Hallelujah
You’re my hallelujah
You’re my hallelujah
Yeah
And you got me touching heaven, ooo
You’re my hallelujah, ooo
You got me
You’re my hallelujah
You’re my hallelujah
Yes you are
Hallelujah, hallelujah

If touching love is touching God
No wonder I’m in heaven when I’m holding you

You’re my hallelujah
You’re my hallelujah
You’re my hallelujah
You’re my hallelujah
You’re my hallelujah
You’re my hallelujah
You’re my hallelujah
Yes you are

And you got me touching heaven

Unrequited Part III/Partings         April 5, 1988

A tale told in five parts during 1988 and 1989

The writer and the past revealed

Through faulty memory and poetry

 

Although neither of us have said it,

I sense a goodbye.

It may be self-imposed.

Goodbye has always seemed

Inevitable to me.

I can picture a scene

Where we hug

Hold tight for a moment

Promise to stay in touch.

Leaving so much unsaid. Continue reading “Unrequited Part III/Partings         April 5, 1988”

Bodies in Rest and Motion

I have always loved the first time

With a new lover

That sense of adventure

Of discovery

To experience their skin for the first time

To gaze at them unclothed, vulnerable

Can take my breath away

The lining up of the curves and edges

The exploration of how our bodies

Might fit together

Is a topic of endless

Fascination to me.


I have always loved

To run my hands unhurriedly

Over a new lover’s

Uncharted topography

Inquiring about scars and tattoos

Lazily connecting

Constellations of freckles

With a trailing finger

To see what shapes emerge

Gathering the history of a

Their body.


I listen attentively to

The sounds they make when

I find that ticklish spot

Or that exquisitely sensitive area

That gives touch a sense of urgency

Tucking this privileged information away

In my heart and in my muscle memory

To draw upon it again

At some future time.


Over the years

I have had the chance to

To press my naked skin

And at times my soul

Against lanky bodies

Short bodies

Smooth bodies

Hairy bodies

Gentle curves

Generous curves

Muscle, subtle

And at times bulging.


I have run my hands over

Skin taut with youth

The flush delicate and pink

And in more recent years

Have tangled my fingers

In salt and pepper chest hair

Memorizing laugh lines

Learning with my hands and mouth

How the passing of time

And gathering of experience

Both softens someone’s edges

While simultaneously revealing

Something lean and authentic

And essential


I have entwined my fingers

With many hands since

My first tentative

Steps into my own sensuality

I have known calluses

Smooth, unlined hands

Delicate hands

Feminine hands

Masculine hands

And have developed

A strong preference for

Short fingernails.


I have never really had a “type”

But instead

An unceasing curiosity

About how my body

And my lover’s body

Are alike and different

I like the lights on

Have always wanted to see

How my touch, the feel of my breath

Against their skin

Changes a lover’s expression

Observe whether

The lover in my bed

Is someone who holds tight to control

Or luxuriates like a hedonistic cat

Or is able to let go with abandon

Losing themselves to the moment.


I love eye contact and

The joining of mouths

I have always been told

That I am a very good kisser

Which I must admit

I take a disproportionate

Amount of pride in

My first kiss at tender 14

Was a ridiculous

But memorable affair

As my back cramped up

And I actually fell off a picnic bench

It has always made a good story

I have greatly improved

Both my confidence and skill.


I have also always

Loved the “after”

With a lover

Both of us warm and damp

Relaxed, our bodies heavy

Many points of contact

Limbs entwined

A head resting against

A broad shoulder

Or perhaps on an arm

Embraced like spoons

An emotional intimacy

A sense of “knowing”

That did not exist before

Now created and held delicately

Between us

The bed now a sanctuary while

The rest of the world still

Feels far away, remote

Like this moment is all there is

And could be infinite.

The Daily Song: 1200 Days

Music is a big part of my life and I hear at least one song daily that really blows me away.  I have a deep fondness for music that gives me the “feels”– today’s choice is an achingly beautifully song by Erick Baker called 1200 Days.  It is worth your while to check it out. Lyrics can be found below the video.

1200 Days

Just four words

That I must ask of you

They’re not just words

‘Cause they show all my love for you

All my certainty

Forever will not fade

The soothing sound

Of your first with my last name

Twelve hundred days

It lifted me down on one knee

Thank you for loving all

I’ll never be

Cause when I look in your eyes

I see our baby’s first steps on her own

And the front porch lights

They light the way to lead me home

‘Cause your hands they heal my body

And your voice is so sweet to my mind

I don’t want another day without you

Oh darling,

Will you forever be mine

I asked your fathers permission for your hand

And I promise right beside you is where I’ll stand

Oooooooh

‘Cause your hands they heal my body

And your voice is so sweet to my mind

And I don’t want another day without you

Oh darling, will you forever be mine

Oh darling, will you forever be mine

Just one word I hope you say to me

It’s not just a word

‘Cause it shows all your love for me

So take my hand and listen to the melody of these four words

Will you marry me?”

 

 

Unrequited Part II  April 2, 1988

A tale told in five parts during 1988 and 1989

The writer and the past revealed

Through faulty memory and poetry

 

If you were here

Right now

In front of me

What would I say to you?

Could I tell you that

I’ve been lonely

That the songs have been sad and

I’m too tired to do battle?

Would I tell you that

I don’t need to talk

But to be held? Continue reading “Unrequited Part II  April 2, 1988”

Unrequited, Part I March 10, 1988

A tale told in five parts during 1988 and 1989

The writer and the past revealed

Through faulty memory and poetry

 

Sometimes

Often actually

I wonder what you want from me

Need from me

We talk frequently

Of what I want

Of what I need

Of what I ask of you

But if this is a relationship

And relationships take two

Then we need to talk about more than me. Continue reading “Unrequited, Part I March 10, 1988”