Unrequited Part II  April 2, 1988

A tale told in five parts during 1988 and 1989

The writer and the past revealed

Through faulty memory and poetry

 

If you were here

Right now

In front of me

What would I say to you?

Could I tell you that

I’ve been lonely

That the songs have been sad and

I’m too tired to do battle?

Would I tell you that

I don’t need to talk

But to be held?

Being held is

Such a simple request.

A simple need but

So hard to ask for.

I try not to ask you

For anything.

I try not to need. . .

 

Once the need starts

It can be like quicksand.

I get over my head

And too suffocated to call out

For help.

 

There’s a part of me

I don’t know what to do with.

It’s the part that

Makes me feel so confused

When I see you

It’s the part that

Makes me want to reach out and

Lay my hand on your heart

When I see your pain.

It’s the part that

Wants to kiss you gently sometimes

When I look into your eyes.

I can’t afford to want

In this relationship

I most certainly cannot afford

To love you

But that part of me does

It can be an inner battle.

 

This is another of those

“NOT a love” poems that

I write to you.

Words that you won’t see.

The words are the hardest

With you

But in some ways

They have never flowed so freely.

I have this sense

That the words are going

To be the only reminders

Of this relationship

Of these feelings.

Given the circumstances

Maybe it’s for the best.

There has never really been

A place for

Each other.

 

2 thoughts on “Unrequited Part II  April 2, 1988

  1. Thank you! It is interesting to revisit these feelings after so many years. It remained an unrequited– and complicated– love but I appreciate that I took this snapshot of that place, that time, those feelings. It is a little bit like discovering a dusty Christmas gift in a closet, long forgotten but somehow still resonate.

    Like

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