Jigsaw Puzzle

You spot glimpses of me

In the mist

I reveal pieces of myself

In a tumbling, barely coherent

Torrent

And then I retreat again

Out of the light

I seem unable to

Reveal a complete picture

Even I can see that I am

Only providing

Disconnected, disjointed

Pieces of myself

 

Each its own truth

But not yet coming together

Into a coherent whole

Did someone pack the pieces of

Multiple jigsaw puzzle

Versions of me

Into a single box and

Then shake vigorously?

My obsessive-compulsive

Side shudders

 

I worry that these pieces

Have been tossed thoughtlessly

Callously

Into the air by the universe

To fall where they will

Without apparent rhyme

Without apparent reason

Leaving me to try to

Glean the new pattern

Like a soothsayer reading

The bones

 

Who am I now

I wonder?

Calm, nurturing earth mother

Teasing big sister

Boon companion and friend

Dark dangerous woman

Singing her siren song

Deepest soul mate

Vulnerable woman-child

With the trembling, bleeding heart

Huddled in the corner

Afraid to move in any direction?

 

Am I all of the above

Or none of these?

My self-perceptions

Unreliable, lacking insight

Am I looking for coherence

Validation in the eye of the

Beholder? Perhaps

But I feel like I am

Crawling on the hard tile floor

Sifting through the pieces

Putting the puzzle that is me

Back together

No box cover picture to work from

Afraid of what I might see

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 thoughts on “Jigsaw Puzzle

    1. Thank you! It has been an incredible year of transformation– something I think you can relate to. Some of it incredibly painful and stressful, some amazing and gives me hope but sometimes I feel like I have no sense of who I will emerge as on the other side.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I can so relate. Of the poets I read I feel our lives and thoughts are very similar. I can so relate to your experiences. I have gained much reading your work

        Like

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