Haven

we are often just ships

passing by

during the frenetic work week

our sleep/wake cycles

not in sync

ruminating silently in the night hours

over our own individual worries

our daytime communication

focused on the logistics

of teenagers, bills, elderly dog

laundry, menu planning, the leaking sink

the busyness

forcing us to interact as

business partners

 

lazy saturday afternoon

the house is empty, quiet

except for the not so gentle snoring

of the dog we affectionately

call “darth jagger”

who can never bear

to be parted from you

his beloved alpha

 

this is when we

slip out of time

slip out of space

slip out of  heavy

grown up roles

thrust onto us by the world

and the relentless marching

of time

 

it is in these weightless

formless hours

my head upon your shoulder

my hand resting gently

on your heart

your warm skin

pressed against

my warm skin

that I am most grounded

 

we are liquid warmth

quiet breath

our inhales

and exhales gradually

syncing

floating thoughts

thin line between

dozing and waking

 

i love the joining

of our bodies

in rising tide

but it is in this sacred

space of after

where the true meaning

of intimacy

reveals itself

 

a featherbed

of trust

safety

sensuous pleasure

 

welcome comfort

from a world

that increasing is chaotic

frightening

reshaping itself at

light speed

into something I no longer recognize

 

i am so grateful

that you welcome me

time and time again

into the circle

of your embrace

and offer me

this escape

this haven

for these precious hours

where we are renewed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

24 thoughts on “Haven

    1. He DID Olde Punk! He even chose the last line. Carving out this time together has been a big priority the last three or four months. Touch and words are much more my love languages than his but I think he has discovered a new appreciation for both.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Kevin has been an unsung hero these last 10 months while my mood has been a roller coaster- he has kept our household afloat, literally saved Christmas and along with some good friends (and some very fine mental health professionals,) has kept me from falling into the abyss. I had been pretty stable the rest of our relationship (12 years) and this has been a challenging and I think scary experience for him at times. It is rare that I get the opportunity to publicly thank him and he is a pretty private guy, but he really appreciates the power of this kind of time together. We had to really work to prioritize making space for this reconnection but we have the advantage of having one child off at college and the sharing custody of the other with her bio dad.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’m glad you had someone there for you. Me and my wife are still having to work at it and we really need to prioritize our moments together. Hard to do when you have a 3 year old and physical and mental illness to deal with. Still I wouldn’t want it any other way, we’ll always be there for each other.

        Liked by 2 people

  1. Once again, you capture my heart’s desire. So few are lucky enough to have this haven. Good for you and your husband. Lovely. I get the whole thing about needing a lot of support. It’s been on if those years (last year) for sure.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We were pretty distant there for quite some time and it took a lot for me to tell him I was in trouble and that we might have been in trouble. It has taken a lot of work on both our parts to get to this current place. As you are aware, long-term relationships can be very cyclical and it can be surprisingly easy to drift away from each other. Some very wise women (who were HAPPY to kick me in the ass!) reminded me that I couldn’t chose how he responded to me but that I had a lot of choice in how I reached out and responded to him.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I have to chime in here. Yes, I whole heartedly need an intimate, sacred place. Sex and intimacy is just a basic term for it, to me. I deeply crave, and for a little while, found that deep, comfortable contentment that trancends just making love and intimacy. It truly is restoring and i would never settle for less ever again. Sometimes people don’t know this until they’ve found it.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Thank you for providing some deeply needed perspective Mark. I am embarrassed to admit that it simply never had occurred to me until my first encounter with my husband that men bring as many insecurities and needs to bed that women do. He was the first man who was ever open with me about what vulnerable experience it was.

        Liked by 1 person

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