Drowning

i am woman in a large

glass box

that is slowly

but steadily

filling with water

covering my feet

my ankles

my knees

 

padlocks of my

own design

keep me trapped

in this watery prison

the opaque panels

block me from view

murals painted with

images of my placid

face doing routine things

deceive the world

 

inside the box

the water

has reached

my hips

my waist

this water has weight

has heft

presses against me

locks me in place

 

speakers outside the box

play my prerecorded voice

soft and calm

lulling the audience

while the water the soothing

temperature of my bath

continues to rise

covers my chest

suffocates me

 

part of me fights

struggles to break free

longs for fresh air

longs for the light

part of me is tired

so very very tired

how easy it would be

to just let go

relinquish myself to

the darkness

 

the clock is ticking

as the water rises

dangerously high

up to my shoulders now

my voice will soon be gone

can I pull a Houdini

or will I drown

in this unholy

flood of my tears

my blood

my liquid pain?

15 thoughts on “Drowning

  1. This is just so sad and yet beautiful at the same time.
    Part of me is tired too but we just can’t let go unless life let’s go of us.
    We cannot be that week.
    I am going to re blog this, I hope you do not mind that. Every one needs to read this beauty.

    Like

  2. You’re writing really resonates with me. I think when someone writes about something like this and brings out its poetry, even though it is so awful when you’re going through the sad feelings, I find it helpful in enabling you to accept it more and kind of nurture that sadness – that it is beautiful and deserves love and comfort too.
    I guess it can be the same when you’re writing yourself and reading other people’s work.
    Also, *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Julia. It always is meaningful for me to hear that my writing resonates for someone. Just the process of writing this out helps me work out some of the intensity of the feelings. But I agree, it is important to honor and respect our sadness and even despair. They are part of what makes us, us and I love and respect my ability to feel deeply.

      Liked by 1 person

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