Unspoken

i tried to type the words

on the screen

but the backspace key

seemed to have a mind of its own

and kept deleting the text

 

i tried saying the words

out loud

but they froze in my throat

before melting away

 

i have spent  a

lifetime

believing that the most

blasphemous words

in the English language

that I could ever say were

vulnerable

need

fragile

help me

don’t leave

 

i have never

allowed my traitorous

tongue to admit

weakness

frantically trying to

convince everyone

including myself

that I am invincible

 

zealously defending

and protecting a heart

strong as steel

deep as the ocean

battered and dented

delicate as glass

burying it so deeply

that it would take an

archeologist

to unearth it

 

i ignore that i have body

that I am flesh and bone

that I am blood and sweat

that I am curves and edges

heartbeat and sighs

my sanity has depended at times

on my ability to float out of my body

and onto the ceiling

until danger has passed

 

i am raw and humbled

before you

weary and bruised

brought to my knees

i am vulnerable

i am fragile

i am breaking

cracking at the seams

into a thousand brightly

colored shards

and it is killing me to ask you to

reach out your hand and

help me up

 

 

 

 

 

9 thoughts on “Unspoken

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