Another Saturday, another migraine
Another two plus hour nap
Trying to sleep off said migraine
This is becoming a familiar and unwelcome routine
But it is my first migraine since last Sunday
So maybe the Mindfulness Meditation techniques
I am learning are actually helpful
I have been experimenting with different guided
Meditation videos from YouTube
My favorite is a profanity-laden guided meditation
Sent me by another WordPress writer (who shall remain nameless)
But it gives me such a case of the giggles
That I cannot concentrate on my breathing
A second one is tailored just for migraine and features
The voice of an Australian man that I am starting to develop
Erotic fantasies about
With a voice that sexy, he has got to be good in bed
But every time he talks about letting the tension in my head and
Neck dissolve and drain away into the ground
I picture it becoming water running down my body
And I need to pee (sucks to be 50)
The third is a whole body check in
I am a little leery of this one
It tends to provoke some defensive and protective
Feelings when I need to check in with the core of my body
Like my hips, and my belly and my chest
I am tempted to literally cover these areas with my hands
I have discovered that an unexpected side effect
Of practicing mindfulness meditation
Is that I can no longer slip easily into the
(dissociative) day dreams that I enjoy when I am commuting
Or that calm me when I am stressed
Or help me get back to sleep when I am in insomnic (nightly)
I had not realized how much I relied on being able to go away in my mind
To cope with the stressors of my life
But I digress
I was IMing with a friend after this morning’s nap
And in a sudden flash recall that CB
Had actually brought up two themes from our previous session
This past Tuesday while referring to her dog-eared legal pad
The first, of course, was “I am attuned to pain”
The second was “I forget I have gravity”
(gravity was her word, not mine, I suspect I used “impact”)
As in, I forget that my words/thoughts/actions/very existence
Impacts anyone else
Because I feel so thin/transparent/invisible/unworthy/unlovable
Hmmmm.
Let’s sit with that one for a minute
I so enjoyed this Christine.
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Thank you Yassy.
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Welcome my dear girl.
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Christine, this is so interesting. And relatable. What you say about wanting to protect your core with your hands…I’ve had this experience with alternative medicine (I am a huge fan), when I was on a particular Bach Flower Remedy. I didn’t realise until then, how I slumped over to protect my heart, and as the remedy took effect, I found myself involuntarily straightening up and my chest felt so incredibly vulnerable and exposed, but it was liberating as well. The self awareness at that moment was overwhelming. It also released a lot of pain. I’m glad I was alone at the time! But now I’m acutely aware of the way I protect myself.
And that last bit you wrote, I’m sad you feel that way.
🌼🌸
I’ve struggled with that too, so much. I don’t have kids, but I’ve worked with them and it was such a great experience, in that I learned that I wasn’t invisible…(oh my gosh, there were times I wish I were, though lol. Very sobering!)
I hope you do take time to see the way you impact the people in your life! ❤
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Thank you Vanessa. These are old, complex and knotted issues. I am trying to untie them and free myself up but it is a process. I am so incredibly grateful for all the well wishes and support I get here.
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I have to say, that Aussie guy sounds worth listening to. Some of this made me chuckle!!
But I wonder about the mind wandering…I think there is good in that too.
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😉
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I’ve hit that invisible “love” button. Come on WP, it’s time for one.
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Thanks Vanessa!
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😃😅😄 I love this! So, true! How our mind still rambles in silence … At least you have a seductive voice to listen to – but then I don’t think much concentration can done of that either …at least I couldn’t 😄
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Thinking about gravity/impact and the way in which our inside views and others’ perceptions don’t match. You do have gravity/impact. You’ve been impacting (off and on) for 30 years or more. I don’t comment on every piece you post – but they matter. You matter. Your words and your impact matter. I’m blessed by you.
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Fran that is an incredibly kind thing to say. It is hard to maintain perspective when I am so in my head trying to decide what to let go of and what to hold on to. It all feels like sand running through my hands or as though I am just sand running through hands.
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This sounds like a lot to have done in pursuit of relaxation. I think humor is literally the best medicine, laughter and mirth.
So I prescribe that you watch the one-hour plus compilation of Whose Line Is It Anyway – Scenes From A Hat. It’s hilarious.
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I LOVE Whose Lines Is It Anyway. I am learning the mindfulness both to manage some pretty incapacitating migraines and to self-sooth in more healthy ways. But you are right– I probably forget the healing of laughter.
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Migraines are difficult to navigate, but sometimes laughter can override pain. There’s another thing that can sometimes override pain, but I’m too much of a gentleman to mention it. (Hint: sex)
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I am familiar with that treatment and use it as often as time and nausea allow!
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There’s nearly always time, lol
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I love this
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Thank you Aakriti!
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