The Gifts I am Given

The mirror that I usually

Look at myself in is old

Dark, fractured, wavy

Distorted

It is as if these fragments

Have writing scrawled upon them

In crimson lipstick

Words like:

Damaged

Unclean

Fat

Old

Ugly

Bitch

Unworthy

Invisible

Unlovable

Objects in this mirror

May be closer than they appear

And sometimes they hurt

Sometimes they bleed

 

People have been handing me new words

That they say they see when they look at me

This language is not congruent with what

My looking glass likes to venomously spew at me

These are different kinds of words entirely

Words like:

Strong

Kind

Honest

Brave

Badass

Radiant

Beautiful

Authentic

Powerful

Impactful

Wise

Intelligent

I am not sure what to do

With these foreign objects

I put them in a heart shaped box

For safe keeping

I like to take them out and wonder at them

Tracing their curves with my finger

 

I am thinking about buying

New, clear mirrors

That surround me 360 degrees

And inscribing the glass

With these gifts of words

I have been given

That tell a different narrative

Of me

 

Or perhaps I will

Carve them onto flat disks

Of gold, silver and bronze

and string them into a necklace

That I wear close to my heart

It will have weight, heft

And be an ever present reminder

That mirrors are not always

The holders of my important truths

 

9 thoughts on “The Gifts I am Given

  1. I vote for the necklace idea, that is awesome.
    I love this, especially the last two lines.
    (I was in a clothing store recently trying on something, and they had those distorted mirrors in the change room, the ones that make you look taller and thinner than reality…and it made me mad! Because one, I wanted to look like that, and two, I know that the people in my life love me for who I actually am, and that moment made me question all of that! This is timely. I was just discussing with Mr Ward Clever about the amazing coincidences on WP <3)

    Liked by 1 person

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