The assignment given
Was to write my own narrative
Tell my life story
“Start anywhere
But treat yourself
With compassion”
The once upon a time
Part is simple
Flows easily
“I was born in Corona, California
on Tuesday, March 1st. . . “
The self-compassion
Is where I trip
Stutter to a stop
Feel unsure
Lose my footing
Slide in the gravel
Compassion for myself
Is an emotion
I have never felt
I can afford
It somehow
Has always felt important
To hit myself harder
Than the world ever could
That in some twisted way
Living through this self-abuse
Could become its own insulation
A form of armor
A test that I am
Tough enough
Fierce enough
To survive
Like standing
In the back bed
Of a red 1973 pick-up truck
Driving 90 miles an hour
On twisty, icy, country roads
Screaming “I dare you to top that one life!”
A giant game of chicken
A game of Dare
Always able to cut myself
A little deeper
A little bloodier
Than life could
Self-harm is not always
Carved on the skin
The DNA of a mentally ill
Drug addicted father
A distant, withdrawn mother
Who had had to choose between
Daughter and husband
Makes up my genetic inheritance
Makes up
My emotional baggage
I have always had
The nagging feeling
That my mother regretted
Choosing me
My whole life spent
Trying not to be the monster
I am worried that
I am destined to become
Can I muster compassion
For the beast within?
The one with three heads
Jagged teeth
Razor sharp scales
Nine inch talons
Breathes fire
And burns villages
To the ground. . .?
Oh my wow💟 I love this 💟 Thank you for sharing 💟
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Thank you Libby.
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I can sympathize, but not empathize with you…that would be my wife’s job. Your words resonate with hers. It’s easier to hurt yourself; at least you know what to expect; not caught off-guard; know what you can withstand….
All I can do is hug you and hold you.
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Bearing witness, offering presence is an incredibly powerful gift. She is fortunate.
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This one hits me hard, right in the heart. Painful and beautifully written ❤
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Thank you. Important but tough stuff to articulate.
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Yes, and you did it beautifully 🙂
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That is very kind of you to say.
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