I am a woman

Who prefers to

Live in my head

Ignore

That I am

Tethered

To a body

Detached

From the

Swirling storm

Of emotions

Pretending

Not to see

Intersections

Of thought

Feeling

Blood

Bone

Salty tears

Running down

My warm

Smooth skin

 

This intersection

Becomes

My beautiful hell

The place

I am choked

By the intensity

Of suppressed

Emotions

Haunted

By ghosts

Hot and cold

Thoughts buzzing

Skin shockingly

Alive

I feel

The weight

Of each drop

Of salty water

On my cheekbone

Like

A big

Blue

Marble

 

In my

Beautiful hell

I cannot

Retreat

Into safe rooms

My mind

Has created

Unable to

Float

Removed

On the ceiling

Above my body

Mentally writing

Grocery lists

Planning errands

My body

An empty shell

On the bed

Tragedy

How few lovers

Ever

Noticed

My absence

 

In my

Beautiful hell

Music swirls

Through my blood

Travels down

My neurons

Electric

My fingertips

My limbs

Instinctively

Sway with the beat

My heart

Aching

Around

Sharpened dagger

Piercing

Walls

Of my chest

Where

It must remain

Or

Risk hemorrhage

 

I am

Wholly alone

Connected

To everything

Barely breathing

Exquisitely

Painfully

Alive

I feel

Everything

Don’t know

Whether to join

The song

Of the cosmos

Or crumble

Crushed

By the weight

Of it all

Broken

Bleeding

To the ground