Adventures in Neurology

The phlebotomist who likes my tatts

and is disappointed that Villanova

is out of the playoffs

admits to me that this is the

first Vitaman E level he has ever

drawn in his career


I am much more intrigued

with the copper level

he tells me that usually  he

only sees orders for copper

when someone had had a hip

replacement and there is concern

about metal leakage

Good to know


New body parts will

be examined by magnetic

waves later this week

in effort to solve my mysteries

I will think about voxels

and lululemon yoga pants

to distract myself from

low level anxiety in the

clanging narrow tube


My body’s betrayal

does not sit easily with me

I value my independence

and was not prepared for

shaving my legs to become

a high risk activity at 51


I still hope that

a change in pharma

or a nutritional supplement

may cause a return

to equilibrium

but it seems prudent to

contemplate my options

should my limbs continue to

go rogue


There is always waxing

and pedicures

Dragon software

My left hand could learn

new tricks

Pick up some slack


My coworkers and I agree

that I am WAY too badass

for an old lady cane

If this is my new

neurological destiny

I need something


or at least with a skull

on the handle

This is me

we’re talking about


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