Unspoken (revisited)

i try to type

the words

on the screen

but the backspace key

seems to have a mind of its own

keeps deleting the text

 

i try saying the words

out loud

but they freeze in my throat

before melting away

into my gut

 

i have spent

a lifetime

believing that the most

blasphemous words

in the English language

that I could ever say were

vulnerable

need

fragile

help me

don’t leave

 

i do not allow

my traitorous tongue

to admit weakness

frantically trying

to convince everyone

convince myself

that I am

invincible

 

i zealously defend

and protect a heart

strong as steel

deep as ocean

battered and dented

delicate as glass

burying it so deeply

it would take an archaeologist

to unearth it

 

i ignore that i have body

that I am flesh and bone

blood and sweat

curves and edges

heartbeat and sighs

my sanity depending at times

on my ability to float out of my body

onto the ceiling

until danger has passed

 

i am raw

humbled

before you

weary

bruised

brought to my knees

i am vulnerable

i am fragile

i am breaking

cracking at the seams

into a thousand brightly colored shards

and it is killing me to ask you

to reach out your hand

and help me up

 

 

 

 

 

41 thoughts on “Unspoken (revisited)

  1. Hi Braveandreckless, you have really caught my attention with your post, you create amazing images, I love your use of metaphors and I can hear your unique voice so full of emotion. I’m going to read it to my adult learners on Wednesday; I’m trying to help my students change their negative school view of poetry being something inaccessible and removed from the ordinary everyday person to a positive view; realising how beautiful and emotional poetry can be and what a strong and cathartic voice it can have. Has writing helped you heal? Does sharing it help even more?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Writing helps me in so many ways– it helps me let go a little of some of these and experiences. It lets dump them out on the screen and then step back a little and process them. This doesn’t happen all at once but is an ongoing process. One of the most powerful thing for me about writing these poems is being a voice for others you can’t or are not ready to write about these experiences. I feel less alone and deeply humbled every time somebody writes to me and tells me that I captured what they feeling perfectly. It has been incredibly powerful and liberating to find my voice and I strongly believe that poetry does not to be obscure. It can touch, it can teach it can connect and yes, I believe that it heals. Every time I write I assert that my truth has value, that my voice has value.

      Like

  2. Very Amazing. This speaks to most of us and about most of us it reminds me of a song by Travis Tritt, “Foolish Pride.” We are all to Prideful to admit defeat or weakness and that is as true as it gets.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I cried. I don’t do that often. Reminded me of the beginning of a poem that speaks to me.

    There’s a bluebird in my heart that
    wants to get out
    but I’m too tough for him,
    I say, stay in there, I’m not going
    to let anybody see
    you.

    Liked by 1 person

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