When I can’t sleep
I lay on the floor
and hang out with the monsters
under my bed
I finally introduced myself
after I got tired of them
poking me in the middle of the night
mustered my courage
took a peak
They are quite the motley crew
Vulnerability
resembles a giant porcupine
all razor sharp quills
shy gaze
caramel voice
She looks lovely
but it’s hard to get close enough
to really tell
Rage looks normal enough
as far as monsters go
but when he gets angry
which is often
his skin gets scaly
his eyes turn red
smoke starts to drift out
from his ears and nostrils
I find myself quite attracted to Rage
I want to stroke his reptilian skin
sit close to his heat
inhale his smoke
until my eyes burn red too
Invisibility is pretty quiet
mute actually
not so much invisible
as completely nondescript
I can never exactly remember what
Invisibility looks like
No matter how hard I try to look
it’s like my eyes slide right off
every time I visit Invisibility
it is like meeting for the first time
Memory is a giant messy yarn ball
pieces of barbed wire and broken glass
protruding out
mixed in with the occasional flower
and seaside picnic
Memory’s voice sounds like children laughing
Melissa Etheridge played in the dark
silent screams
heaving sobs
Hanging out with Memory is exhausting
Detachment does most of the talking
She wears a sharp suit
pantyhose
sensible pumps
tortoise shell glasses
she even carries a laser pointer
which she likes to use to illustrate her talking points
When I mention that I expected the monsters under my bed
to be Nightmare, Fear, Death
she shakes her head and tells me that those
are the monsters that haunt other people
the ones who have always lived in the light
and only have imagination to rely on
Those of us who have looked into the void
seen monsters wearing human faces
are a different story entirely
Hope looks like a sorority girl
at her five year college reunion
perfect make-up
well coiffed
just the right amount of accessories
dressed all in pink
tan
well-rested
always smiling
She could be squirting shoppers with perfume at Macy’s
she has a bright, breathy voice
always seems to be selling something
like a Club Med vacation in paradise
I don’t trust her
Not one little bit
Little Me is the smallest
she likes to climb on my lap
hold both my cheeks in her cherub hands
look deeply into my eyes
Her eyes are large
hazel
ancient
sad
weary
as though she has seen too much
Half the time I want to turn away
from those knowing eyes
the other half I want to hold her
comfort her
She mostly hums
and sighs
but once she looked at me with her
somber timeless eyes and said in her little girl voice
It wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault. You used to walk only in the light once too. Before. . .
It was hard to get back to sleep that night
I mused out loud one night as I grew drowsy
on the carpet
that I wondered which monster under my bed
was scariest
It was suddenly silent
I realized that they were all staring at me
some shocked
some concerned
Detachment pointed her laser pointer directly my chest
You, of course
The scariest monster under the bed
is the one you fear you will become
© 2017 Christine Elizabeth Ray – All rights Reserved
What a concept and what execution! Superb!
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Thank you!
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Damn! Fantastic!
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Why, thank you!
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Great stuff Sunshine. Write it out 🙌❤
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It was a nice way to work through the swirling cloud in my head. Just have to resist calling the people around me “normals!”
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😉
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Wow.
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Good wow?! Okay, guess my insecurity is showing!
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Always a good wow.
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🙂
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Nice ❤ ❤ ❤
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Thank you!
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This is excellent. ❤
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Thank you Kindra! Working some shit out.
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You work your shit out beautifully, Christine.
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That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day!’
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Knowing this pleases me. 🙂
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<3<3
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So very impressive!
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Thank you Aurora!
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Reblogged this on Secret First Draft: Member of the Sudden Denouement Literary Collective and commented:
Christine Ray/Brave and Reckless
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This is very deep … very cool!
My monsters look the same 🙂 We’re getting to know each other … slowly xo
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Good luck! Mine are frequent nighttime companions
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As are mine … little buggars 😉
Thankyou … and You too xo
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🙂
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I love your writing style! This resonated with me a lot
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I’m so glad!
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Love this!
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Thank you!
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No problemo!
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This is great! I need a few of my monsters to get busy eating some of the others. There isn’t much room left under there 😉
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Fortunately I have a big bed. Though I don’t know how much room we leave for my husband’s monsters
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My husband keeps his in the closet, lol!
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🙂
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You
Are
Amazingly
Gifted
🙏🏼
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Thank you– just working my way through the mess in my head
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Wow! Thank you.
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This is wonderful!
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Wow! This is a powerful piece, one we can all take a lesson from by looking at the monsters under our own beds! Thank you!
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So glad it resonated for you!
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That is amazing, thank you
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Thank you. It was a therapeutic write.
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The way you’ve personified all those emotions and feelings is truly powerful 🙂
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Thank you– it was a very therapeutic write!
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I can imagine 🙂
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This is so creative. I enjoyed it greatly. Excuse the adverb.
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Thank you so much!
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Cool post! I enjoyed it.
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Thank you!
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You’re welcome!
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Reblogged this on Sudden Denouement Literary Collective and commented:
Christine Ray/Brave and Reckless
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Wow, just wow. Amazing
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thank you very much!
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Magnificent!
In my own blog I talk about befriending your demons. They are NOT evil, they are a part of you and you are NOT evil. Mostly they are like unruly puppies, misunderstood and acting out to get attention. Restrain them – but with love, not fear.
Harnessed properly, they are the dog team that pulls you thru the snowy parts of life. You need them. Sometimes rage IS the proper response. Sometimes invisibility is the RIGHT thing to do. The important thing is that YOU decide where you are going, not the dogs. Their power, the power of the wolf pack, is yours. So to segue to another one of your wonderful posts, run with them.
Although often I feel like I’m going to the dogs myself.
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Christine…that was fantastic. Brilliant. Bravo.
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Thank you Gigi! This was a powerful and important write for me.
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