the suicide note

she did not leave

left a faint  imprint

on the wooden table

where they would sit and talk

over cups of milky coffee

the suicide note

she did not leave

rang like silence in his ears

the suicide note

she did not leave

burned itself onto his retinas

he feared the afterimage

was permanent

the suicide note

she did not leave

did not list

13 reasons why

he understood only

that the starless darkness

that she had been

floating in for so very long

had become so thick

so viscous

so acidic

that it had eaten all light

and she could no longer see

how he glowed

whenever she was near


© 2017 Christine Elizabeth Ray – All rights Reserved

40 thoughts on “Unwritten

  1. It is a myth that most people leave a note. Someone told me once, I think it may have been a quote, that suicide is always murder, and always a message.

    That is not to judge anyone who takes their own lives, in any way.

    The way you portray the permanence of questions unanswered and not just the grief left behind, but the questions and confusion and guilt and is perfectly articulated. I think this is an important piece of writing for anyone who has experienced loss to suicide and I hope it gets exposure. I would encourage you if not already published to submit this to a bigger platform.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the thoughtful feedback. I was a therapist for many years and went to an excellent training where we discussed how suicides are either internal (I hate myself) or external (screw you)

      Wrote this today. Most larger platforms won’t accept previously published work but always welcome suggestions if you know some place this would fit

      Liked by 1 person

          1. Christine… I just read the news of the Sailors on FITZGERALD. I am devastated. I need to retreat for a couple of days to process. My heart breaks for them and their families. Command of a ship is the most unique responsibility in the world, it is hard to describe the impact it has on one’s soul. Maybe I will get there… maybe I will try to explain. But for now, I need to rest inside this moment and be with those souls we have lost and be with those who have survived. I need silence. Know that I will be back, please let folks know for me.

            Liked by 1 person

      1. You didnt trigger painful memories, unfortunately for us it hasnt been that long ago, so we are all still in the painful memory stage, i loved your post, its important we all start talking about it and not hiding from depression ans suicide. Thats why i started the blog and relish honest posts. Thankyou.

        Liked by 1 person

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