the suicide note
she did not leave
left a faint imprint
on the wooden table
where they would sit and talk
over cups of milky coffee
the suicide note
she did not leave
rang like silence in his ears
the suicide note
she did not leave
burned itself onto his retinas
he feared the afterimage
was permanent
the suicide note
she did not leave
did not list
13 reasons why
he understood only
that the starless darkness
that she had been
floating in for so very long
had become so thick
so viscous
so acidic
that it had eaten all light
and she could no longer see
how he glowed
whenever she was near
© 2017 Christine Elizabeth Ray – All rights Reserved
Oh those lines! “suicide note, she didn’t leave”, it’s beautiful and well written!
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I must be fair and admit that I borrowed “the suicide note (s)he did not leave” from Phases. Its been buzzing in my brain this week, wanting to breathe
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Oh that’s alright. It was a good inspiration. I loved how you used it and that’s what matters.
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A sad but beautiful poem.
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Thank you.
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It is a myth that most people leave a note. Someone told me once, I think it may have been a quote, that suicide is always murder, and always a message.
That is not to judge anyone who takes their own lives, in any way.
The way you portray the permanence of questions unanswered and not just the grief left behind, but the questions and confusion and guilt and is perfectly articulated. I think this is an important piece of writing for anyone who has experienced loss to suicide and I hope it gets exposure. I would encourage you if not already published to submit this to a bigger platform.
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Thank you for the thoughtful feedback. I was a therapist for many years and went to an excellent training where we discussed how suicides are either internal (I hate myself) or external (screw you)
Wrote this today. Most larger platforms won’t accept previously published work but always welcome suggestions if you know some place this would fit
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Wow! So intense and heartbreaking!
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I was kind of in an intense mood this morning
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Extremely powerful!
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Thank you Aurora
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You are so welcome
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🙂
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Wow!! Thrilling
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Not the feedback I expected about a poem about suicide notes but I am glad that it moved you.
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Weird, thrilling? Okay, very f’in good and powerful, yes.
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You’ll have to check out Lilith on SD someday– it was badass
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Oh! I have… I haven’t been able to get back to it on my phone to leave a comment but I loved it!
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🙂 Even I liked it and I rarely say that about my work
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Well, let us say it for you…
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and hopefully I will start absorbing it. We will have to take about The Alchemist someday. It made me angry and unsettled with myself for some of the same reasons we discussed earlier this week
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Yes. I get that.
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I wondered. . .
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Are you being coy?
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distracted. in the the middle of SFD and SD reblogs. Minding all of my flocks.
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Lol. You are doing an awful lot, my friend. Do you need to carve out space for you? I am concerned…
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I am a little concerned too. I am feeling stretched thin and translucent
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Yes. There is an awful lot. Can you stop and catch your breath? We will still be here with you and for you.
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Christine… I just read the news of the Sailors on FITZGERALD. I am devastated. I need to retreat for a couple of days to process. My heart breaks for them and their families. Command of a ship is the most unique responsibility in the world, it is hard to describe the impact it has on one’s soul. Maybe I will get there… maybe I will try to explain. But for now, I need to rest inside this moment and be with those souls we have lost and be with those who have survived. I need silence. Know that I will be back, please let folks know for me.
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Of course. Holding you and their families in the light.
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Okay… gonna get my butt in gear and celebrate my Father’s Day!
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Enjoy!
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Like I said, being in a bad place emotionally does lead to some good poetry
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Yes, it does. My friend, your poetry from good places is very good too.
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thank you
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🤓
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Thankyou, i wish he had left a note. But we dont question his decision andvwe know he didnt have too.
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I hope that I did not trigger painful memories. It is the type of loss that always stays with you, is always heavy.
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You didnt trigger painful memories, unfortunately for us it hasnt been that long ago, so we are all still in the painful memory stage, i loved your post, its important we all start talking about it and not hiding from depression ans suicide. Thats why i started the blog and relish honest posts. Thankyou.
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I agree that we need to destigmatize and demystify depression and suicide. Your blog is very powerful.
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