Leaving Wonderland

I have been losing myself

in the busyness lately

Hiding behind noise

blurred movement

avoiding quiet

stillness

running like a frantic animal

trying to escape a predator

who might be me

 

Perhaps I am not Alice after all

I have become White Rabbit

pocket watch in hand

rushing

rushing

shouting that I am late

for a very important date

that I do not really want to attend

 

Reckoning with the looking glass

forced to take a good long look at myself

realize that I do not much like who I have become

too many compliments

little bit of power and influence

false mirrors I chose to look at myself in

making me believe I am more than I am

other than I am

I did not want to be this

but have lost perspective

on what is the middle ground between

perceiving myself as too much

and believing myself to be nothing

 

© 2017 Christine Elizabeth Ray – All rights Reserved

43 thoughts on “Leaving Wonderland

    1. I have certainly been thinking about myself over other people. Sometimes times that is self-preservation, sometimes it is gratuitous collateral damage. I think I forget sometimes how much rage I have simmering below the surface and how much damage it can inflict if I am not constantly vigilant about my words and actions.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Christine, you have been doing some serious self reflection. I’m sure it is a number of different things. But honestly, you have so much going on, I would be easily tempted to think that it is probably mostly self preservation.
        I am concerned about you…the rage thing…how are you dealing with that? I mean, if you feel like you should always be vigilant about not taking it out on others…
        I don’t see you causing damage at all btw!! Are we talking real life? Maybe we should email? Please email whenever you need to ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  1. My Dear Christine, Your writing always just knocks me out!! When I finally become a poet I want my words to be elegant, simple and powerful – like Yours!!!! This is a real masterpiece because it is so raw and personal and yet through all that You are experiencing You can still capture the scene and the feelings with such artistic imagery! Bellissimo Christine Bellissimo!!!

    You know I love You, don’t You?? I tell You every time I’m in the Cafe!!! And You just laugh at me. No matter! You shall not diminish by Love and affection for You, Dear Lady!!!! Please be well, Dear Christine!!
    Chuck

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Aww,And all this time I thought I was the one making You laugh and smile! You aren’t building confidence in my comedic talent, My Dear! You are the poet! Leave some room for those of us who have to do more than just that! Ha!!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. She didn’t choose Wonderland, it chose her. As it chose the rabbit and the queen.
    Whether you leave or you don’t, or you stay or you gloat, Wonderland follows us all.
    All you need to do is be honest and true to yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I hope so. My own comment made me think about my shithouse
        Life too hahahhaa
        Too cold here right now!

        Like

  3. A voyage of the Heart that many of us, myself absolutely included, find ourselves on. Whether by choice or by force seems to be the manner in which we react to what it tells us. I wish you a pleasant journey and a fruitful ending, My Friend.

    Like

  4. Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet and commented:
    Please Welcome back Sweet Christine of braveandrecklessblog and her Super piece “Leaving Wonderland” Please Do Not Miss This Piece!!! Please take the time and listen to Christine reciting this Poem. A reckoning with the looking glass that You will not want to miss!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “I am late / for a very important date / that I do not really want to attend” describes current times so well, it’s scary. I love this piece!

    Liked by 1 person

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