You ask why

as if there is some answer

that would satisfy us

that could make us nod our heads

in collective agreement

Yes, we would say wisely

he should have taken his life

Yes, she deserved to be a statistic


Ask instead:

how much pain a human being

must be in to choose dying

over existing?


how low self-worth can sink

to sincerely believe that






best friends

would be better off without him?

How dark and poisoned

must the air surrounding her become

to choose to stop breathing?


I have stood at the edge of the abyss

weary to my very bones



trapped so deep and alone in my own head

that I did not believe that I would ever be able to free myself

from the sticky black tar that filled my lungs

filled my thoughts

hell on earth

I do not need to ask why


There is piercing ache in my soul

that another sister

another brother

another life

has been lost

no memorials for me to lay a wreath

no candles to light

no hands to hold

in this nameless war


© 2017 Christine Elizabeth Ray – All rights Reserved



  1. Powerful. Makes me overwhelmingly sad to remember these days and know that others are out there, still in the tar. Thank you for making something so hard to express so accessible. Peace to you. ❤️


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