Am I Already Gone?

in my deepest dark corners

worry chews at my belly

I fear that I have already

given in

to complacency

unconsciously surrendered

to ordinary

forgotten my fire

my light

let my beautiful



blow away in the wind

torn up pieces of paper

always just out of my reach


© 2017 Christine Elizabeth Ray – All rights Reserved


    1. Those moments suck, don’t they? Like some important piece of you, some critical part of your identity has slipped out of your hands while you were doing the laundry, and grocery shopping and mindlessly getting ready for a job that you worry is stealing your soul.


  1. Sometimes I wonder if the unique “talent” of having a powerful and vivid ability to recall memories is ever a “good thing”. It’s usually the root of questioning myself. When the life I remember doesn’t line up with this one.


    1. Memory is so contextual and sense of self is so fluid. I had an experience in the fall when I talked about a very painful, difficult experience my freshman year of college and is was astonishing to me both how differently other people remember the events than I do and how differently people remembered me than I remembered myself.


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