The Ugly in Survival

to survive

is to continue to exist

in the face of danger

in the face of tragedy

in the face of hardship

to survive

is to soldier on

after our world has been

turned upside down

making safety

comfort

innocence

a distant memory

to survive

is to be changed

in ways both small

and profound

to survive

is to play at normal

play at human

to survive

is to live with the constant fear

that others will discover

just how fucked up we are

will see how broken we think we are

how unlovable

how unworthy

and will abandon us

because who the hell can love that?!

to survive

is to push

to pull

to test

over and over again

the people we need the most

with our insecurity

with our self-hatred

with our ugly

always pushing the envelope

always shouting internally

while hating ourselves for doing it

do you still love me now?!”

what if I do this?  can you still love me?!”

“can you still love the broken thing I have become?!

 

© 2017 Christine Elizabeth Ray – All rights Reserved

4 thoughts on “The Ugly in Survival

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s