Shapeless Blur- Rahul Gaur

I try to be a shapeless blur that no one notices
Curious about the ways I can hide myself
Under the garb of jokes and stretched lips
Under the static sound of nothingness that puts me to sleep
Behind the curtains of clothes to hide my naked self
Behind her strength when she puts her point across for me

I try to be a shapeless blur that no one notices
Curious about the ways I can lie to myself
With the denial that tightens and I just lie in darkness
With the bias of everything prevailing and nothing new
Without questioning my choices lest we fall apart
Without noticing her fall apart just so you don’t

I try to be a shapeless blur that no one notices
Curious about the ways I can tie myself
To a pole of sanity, filled with energy that harbours insanity
To the heat that melts you into a pot of anxiety
Through a lens, so obtuse you seem entangled
Through a reflection in her eyes that now shows only a shapeless blur

I am a shapeless blur that no one notices
No longer curious and no longer myself.


I am a 21-year-old film-maker based in India and I write poetry and short stories side by side. I have been featured once in the National Poetry Writing Month and since then I’ve inculcated a drive to write poetry to express and understand myself better and mainly because I don’t know what else to do other than write. My favourite writers include Franz Kafka, David Foster Wallace, Fernando Pessoa and Stephen King.

I blog at: Smoke Words Every Day

3 thoughts on “Shapeless Blur- Rahul Gaur

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