Head Full of Rain- Rahul Gaur

Let me be around your loneliness
to do away with a bit of mine
The rules of happiness I seem to break
Can you tell me the way to despair?

Being with you earns me nothing but illusion
A mighty empire on a fickle ground
Of which you’re the empress, the queen, the shining light
But I, the crown on your head, the power to your ignorance

As anxiety alters my reality I reach a stage
where the dead seems livelier than the real
I question my morality as I watch the colours of love fade
and my mouth tastes like hatred.
Hatred for you, the last emotion I wanted
Hoping against hope that this isn’t the last emotion I emote.

Magic, does it exist?
Or was your illusion of care a form of magic too
To put me under a spell of despondency
where you become my cure.

Being with you feels like
going out for a walk during a storm
Letting the harsh wind pull & push you high
To fall in love with the weightlessness to the point
where you don’t want to set foot on land again.
Even though you know your head will be full of rain.

I am a 21-year-old film-maker based in India and I write poetry and short stories side by side. I have been featured once in the National Poetry Writing Month and since then I’ve inculcated a drive to write poetry to express and understand myself better and mainly because I don’t know what else to do other than write. My favourite writers include Franz Kafka, David Foster Wallace, Fernando Pessoa and Stephen King.

I blog at: Smoke Words Every Day

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