hanging on the edge
of what was
and what lies ahead
time unravels in my aching hands
like slippery strands of twisted rope
reminding me of how shaky my grip
has become
i have fought long
hard
to hold onto illusions
that nothing needs to change
that i have not changed
white knuckled
i have clung to control
like religion
whispering novenas in the sleepless hours
trying to convince myself
that i will conquer this demon
like all the others i have kept at bay
with flaming sword
righteous rage
stubborn will
ignoring trembling muscles
screaming joints
cold sweat running down my back
fatigue eating at me
an endlessly ravenous lion
the pain that burns
pierces
needles
grinds
stabs
vibrates
sears
my body
my soul
i am forced to acknowledge
that this battle is bleeding me dry
and that this once
perhaps i must embrace
acceptance
© 2017 Christine Elizabeth Ray – All rights Reserved
Brave & Reckless 
Acceptance is the hardest part …. xx
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Indeed. Particularly when you are a control freak!
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Excellent
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Thank you
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When denial is broken, anger exhausted, and bargaining of no avail – this hard change comes around asking, “Are you ready yet?”
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It is frightening for this control freak to accept that some things are out of my control.
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Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
Christine Ray – the hard stage
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Thank you so much!
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Beautiful words. Beautiful picture.
Stay strong. Accept and enjoy the feeling. It is worth it.
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Thank you so much.
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❤
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❤
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Very good, one I can connect with, very good.
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Change is a theme for both of us, isn’t it?
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Yes, I do think so. Change and support.
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Beautiful this is soo touching and true
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I am so glad it moved you.
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