If love is like muscle memory
Then
My heavy head will always aim for your chest
In bed, my twitching legs try to find yours to tangle against
My cold hands will always cup the back of your head
Gently
Fingers reach for the familiar spaces between yours
My lips curving before meeting
Crashing
Reach for your neck, the palms of your hands, the edges of your narrow hips
Shaky heart beating against my chest
Same responses, time after time
And again and again and again

But then
Colder now
You began teaching my body a new set of movements
Reactions

If love is like muscle memory
Then
My heart now tightens in response to your harsh words
My brains unspools and restrings
Itself all day long
In its attempt to understand you
At times I can feel all the tendons and fibers of me
Straining against their learned behaviors