Leaving Wonderland

I have been losing myself

in the busyness lately

Hiding behind noise

blurred movement

avoiding quiet

stillness

running like a frantic animal

trying to escape a predator

who might be me

 

Perhaps I am not Alice after all

I have become White Rabbit

pocket watch in hand

rushing

rushing

shouting that I am late

for a very important date

that I do not really want to attend

 

Reckoning with the looking glass

forced to take a good long look at myself

realize that I do not much like who I have become

too many compliments

little bit of power and influence

false mirrors I chose to look at myself in

making me believe I am more than I am

other than I am

I did not want to be this

but have lost perspective

on what is the middle ground between

perceiving myself as too much

and believing myself to be nothing

 

© 2017 Christine Elizabeth Ray – All rights Reserved

5 Comments

  1. That elusive middle ground, place of balance, like that jam (very good jam) the Queen offered Alice, but only every OTHER day.

    Praise and validation, a food like weak tea with cream in it – hazardous to drink when your head is a lump of sugar, but hunger can be so strong.

    Like

  2. Ah the difficult balance! Just today my daughter told me I was an awesome mom- because I remembered to be careful about something that is a trigger for her, and I struggled to accept that compliment. What with the whole went to prison and messed up your life chapter in the recent past.
    It is such a struggle! Well said as always

    Like

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