You ask why

as if

there is some answer

that would satisfy us

that could make us

nod our heads

in collective agreement

Yes, we would say wisely

he should have taken his life

Yes, she deserved to be a statistic


Ask instead how much pain

must a human being

endure to choose dying

over existing?

Ask how low

self-worth can sink

to sincerely believe







best friends

would be better off without him?

How dark and poisoned

must the air surrounding her


to choose to stop breathing?


I have stood at the edge of that abyss

weary to my very bones



trapped so deep and

alone in my own head

that I did not believe

that I would ever be able to

wrestle free

from sticky black self-hatred


that blinded my eyes

choked my lungs

filled my thoughts

I do not need to ask why?


My soul aches

that another sister

another brother

another life

has been lost

no memorials

for me to lay a wreath

no candles to light

no hands to hold

in this nameless war


© 2017 Christine Elizabeth Ray – All Rights Reserved



  1. Any who have really looked into the eyes (as I have, many times) of those standing on that cliff edge, or who have survived the jump against their intention, and tried to give a convincing answer to “Why not?”, need ever ask “Why?”.


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