I am a woman most comfortable
living in my head
Ignore that I am tethered
to body
Detached from the swirling storm
of emotion
pretending not to see
intersection of
thought
feeling
blood
bone
tears running down
warm smooth skin
This crossroads is
my beautiful hell
where I am choked
by intensity of suppressed
emotions
haunted by ghosts
hot
cold
thoughts buzzing
skin shockingly alive
I feel the weight
of each drop of saline
on my cheekbone
each a big blue marble
I cannot retreat to safe rooms
my mind has created
unable to float removed
on distant ceiling
above my body
mentally writing grocery lists
planning errands
my body an empty shell
on crumpled sheets
tragedy how few lovers ever noticed
my absence
Hum buzzes through my blood
travels down neurons electric
heart aching around
sharpened dagger
piercing the walls of my chest
that must remain or
risk hemorrhage
I am wholly alone
connected to everything
barely breathing
exquisitely painfully alive
I feel everything
don’t know whether to join
song of the cosmos
or crumble crushed
by the weight of it all
broken
bleeding
to the ground
© 2017 Christine Elizabeth Ray – All Rights Reserved
intensely beautiful and tragic.
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Thank you Penny
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This is an enthralling read – disturbing (true, in one sense we are all truly alone), sensitive and heart-wrenching – yet totally engaging. I felt very moved reading this.
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Thank you so much Chris- I’m glad it spoke to you.
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You’re welcome.
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Reblogged this on The Militant Negro™.
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Feel or not feel, Is there really a choice? Perhaps, only an illusion of choice.
“What matters it how far we go?” his scaly friend replied.
“There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.
The farther off from England the nearer is to France –
Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.
Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you,
will you join the dance?
Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you,
won’t you join the dance?” [from: “The Lobster Quadrille” by Lewis Carroll]
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Perhaps you are correct
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Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
Christine Ray – To join the dance?
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Sad and beautiful. Great description of feeling detached and overwhelmed at the same time.
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I am glad to know that I captured the truth of it.
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You certainly did…
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