Adventures in Neurology

The phlebotomist who likes my tatts

and is disappointed that Villanova

is out of the playoffs

admits to me that this is the

first Vitamin E level he has ever

drawn in his career


I am much more intrigued

with the copper level

he tells me that usually  he

only sees orders for copper

when someone had had a hip

replacement and there is concern

about metal leakage.

Good to know.


New body parts will

be examined by magnetic waves

later this week

in effort to solve my mysteries

I will think about voxels

and lululemon yoga pants

to distract myself

in the clanging narrow tube


My body’s betrayal

does not sit easily with me

I value my independence

and was not prepared for

shaving my legs to become

a high risk activity at 51


I still hope

that a change in pharma

or a nutritional supplement

may result in a return to equilibrium

but it seems prudent to

contemplate my options

should my limbs continue to

go rogue


There is always waxing

and pedicures

Dragon software

My left hand could learn new tricks

Pick up some slack


My coworkers and I agree

that I am WAY too badass

for an old lady cane

If this is my new neurological destiny

I need something steampunk

or at least with a skull on the handle

This is me we’re talking about


© 2017 Christine Elizabeth Ray – All rights Reserved




  1. I can feel the strong you through and through this poem of your and yes your coworkers are right. You are a badass and hopefully, you will go through this next medical appointment of your with not so much of discomfort and pain. ATB, Christine.


  2. Perhaps a wizardly staff would be appropriate, or a cane carved in the likeness of a dragon, or one made to look like a pirate thigh bone with the peg leg still attached. Of that last, you could always say, “He crossed me on a bad day.”


  3. Perseverance and determination don’t fix everything, but they damn sure get you farther down the road than giving up. I guess I could have just said good luck and left it at that. Good luck.


  4. I hope that test came back negative? Or not yet? Also, did you not know that there are canes out there made especially for badass ladies? My grandmother had a flowered one with a gold tip! I would proudly rock that!!


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