My heart has broken this week over the loss of Kate Spade and Tony Bourdain. It broke my heart even further to read so many comments on social media about them being “selfish”, “cowards”, only suffering from “temporary problems” and that they should have “just gotten help.” Which they are both known to have done, many times over.

For those of us engaged in the lifetime struggle with depression and/or bipolar disorder, our biggest daily achievement is often survival. Clinical depression is not the “blues” or being sad when a relationship ends (or some other temporary problem)- it is your emotions being hijacked by your own misfiring brain. Don’t confuse the way a depressed person’s thoughts turn inward with selfishness. When you’re waging an internal war, taking a shower and putting on clean clothes may be the only battle you have energy for that day. Instead of blame, please try some empathy for what kind of hell someone must be living in to genuinely believe a beloved child or spouse would be better off without them. That the world would be better place without them.  We know that depression and bipolar disorder kill. So does judgment. So does stigma.

Today, I am still breathing. That is enough.

18 thoughts on “Soapbox

  1. Today, I am grateful you are breathing and writing. In AA they talk of “one day at a time”. The battle with the demons of depression is even more so that way, whether the demons are our own or afflict others. No one should ever have to fight that battle alone or be harshly judged when they loose.


  2. Isn’t it awful the people when those who lack empathy, feel that they have to comment so negatively about a subject they know nothing about? I’m sad that this upset you, but I’m so glad you wrote this! x


  3. Oh, well said…very glad that I missed all those judgemental comments (this time). My life is good right now and I am grateful daily for that, but I am always aware that crashes into despair can and do happen for me. I talk much more openly about my depression and anxiety now. Not just to encourage those like me, but to let the judgemental ones know it CAN happen to the people you’d least suspect… great post; thank you so much 🙏🙏🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Beautifully, honestly put, as usual. I wish those commenters could just think ‘There but for the grace of pure luck/god/whatever go I’- anyone can get depressed or anxious, for any reason, at any time, and some people just have a stronger tendency for it… a very sad loss to us all, both those creative humans. Keep expressing yourself Christine, we all value you A LOT ❤ G


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s