As the snow fell quietly outside, the warm glow of white lights from the Christmas tree filled the room, and Judy Garland’s ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ softly played on the radio, I looked down at the beautiful little boy curled up next to me on the couch, peacefully fast asleep, and felt my heart twinge.
Was I doing this right?
This was the most magical time of year, and even though it was just the two of us like always, I’d been determined to make it magical AF for him.
Such a bittersweet feeling to have my heart filled with so much joy, reliving the magic of Christmas through my six year old’s eyes, and yet also aching from the loneliness of having no one else to share this with.
“Through the years we all will be together, if the Fates allow…”
The song line hit me like a tidal wave and I was overcome with a flood of emotion — the Fates didn’t allow Him to see this holiday season… who else might not make it to next year’s?
As I brushed the hair off my son’s forehead and kissed him goodnight, I gave thanks for all we had — the roof over our heads, the food in our tummies, and all the love in our hearts.
I really was blessed.
Wiping the tears from eyes I vowed to truly live and cherish each moment of this beautiful short life.
Excited, I couldn’t wait to see the joyous sparkle in my son’s eyes when he woke up Christmas morning and witnessed the magic of Christmas firsthand…
I am a poet who has been writing since childhood as a means to express the plethora of emotions I’ve always felt (hello, #empath). My pen-name, Whiskey + Empathy, comes from the fact that I am deeply empathic, and well, my fondness of spirits.
Brave & Reckless 