bell jar towns – ashley jane

once,
i was contained
i was safe
within the confines of a bell jar town
where everyone
knew everyone
and there was no such thing
as a stranger
and people kept
their carefully constructed perfection
on display
but
i was full of secrets
and wishes
and desires
too rich for rural tongues
once
i bore scars
self-inflicted
i pretended to be fine
(oh, the lies we tell)
i wore anger like a second skin
i coveted the way people left
and never came back
my vertigo heart rose and fell
in a rhythm of
leave-go-escape
(oh, the adventure of it all)
so
i ran
i took a path less traveled,
a path to nowhere
and e v e r y w h e r e
to.anywhere.but.here.
i shut my eyes
and let the world fall away
i burned bridges
and became a phoenix
rising from the ashes
i chased wonder
and learned of new cultures
i sought sanctuary
in circles
that were far from secure
i placed my pain
in the arms of someone
who will probably never know
how to love
but, he knew how to make me forget
and i suppose
that is all i was really after
i let everything
collide
crumble
collapse
i opened my eyes
just in time
for it all to come together again
i met someone
who could piece together
my puzzle
and i know you don’t understand
why i had to leave
but
i almost
lost my mind
on country roads
where everyone moves so
s l o w,
as if they’ve got all the time
in the world,
as if the relationships we forged
in kindergarten
would last us until we died
you see
people need to grow,
and you cannot do that
in a town that’s defined by
Walmart
and high school football
and petty politics
and backwards thinking
i could not grow
confined
beneath the glass
of small cities
and closed minds
my hands are dirtier now,
stained with madness
and grit,
the type that seeps into your skin
and makes a home in your bones
my heart is a bit heavier now too,
and my soul carries a few bruises
but i know love
and pain
and passion
i know possibility
(oh, the magic of it all)

Ashley Jane is an indie author from Alabama. She has been writing off and on since childhood, but she only started sharing her words a few years ago. She is the co-founder of FallsPoetry prompt, which runs on both Instagram and Twitter. She also co-hosts DarkLines and DrugVerse prompts on Twitter, and she is co-admin of Her Heart Poetry and Our Poetry Journey. She has two books of poetry out: Love, Lies and Lullabies and The Mums are Filled with Melancholy. She enjoys helps other authors pursue their dreams of publishing.

You can read more of Ashley’s writing on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and WordPress

 

 

 

 

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