What you want, I ain’t got; and

goddamn,

I have the sinking feeling that it’s happening

again,

as night is falling down upon me. I submerge,

accordingly—

await my death.

My death eradicates mistakes I’ve made,

and saves.

My death is a great red pen, correcting—

according to

Vodka,

on top of Fibromyalgia,

on top of Anxiety,

on top of Depression,

on top of Rx medication.

*

Two years dead,

and I’m still fucking seeking

mother’s affection.

I beat my breast,

claw my throat,

shake my insignificant

fists.

I cry confessionals ‘til Hell won’t have ‘em.

*

I have the sinking feeling that it’s happening

again,

as night is falling down upon me. I submerge,

accordingly—

await another death.

Each one eradicates mistakes I’ve made,

and saves.

I am pain,

and all my deaths

are a great red pen, correcting—

according to the spiders spinning webs

within the folds…