The Gift of the Magi – Georgiann Carlson

“You’re kidding,” said Mary. “Company? I just had a baby! How did they even find us?”

“I’m not sure but I can’t just turn them away,” said Joe. “I think they brought gifts for the baby and they’ve been on their camels for quite some time. The camels are tired.”

“THE CAMELS ARE TIRED?” said Mary, rather loudly. “I HAVE BEEN IN LABOR FOR HOURS, ON THE BACK OF A DONKEY. HAD THE BABY BY MYSELF, laying on straw, and you’re telling me that, THEY’RE TIRED?”

Joe backed up. I mean, come on, he wasn’t that stupid. “Maybe they can just look at the baby and leave.”

“Maybe you’ll be leaving with them. Don’t take the burro.”

“You’re being a little unreasonable,” said Joe, softly,

Mary smiled and felt around under the bloody straw. She found what she was looking for and threw it at Joe’s head. The horseshoe grazed him and he looked stunned, feeling the blood trickle down his face.

“Uh, HELLO?” yelled one of the men. “CAN WE COME IN?”

“WE HAVE GIFTS,” yelled another one.

Joe, obviously knowing nothing at all about women, told the men to come in and see the baby.

Three men, with long and dirty beards, smelling of camels, entered the stable. They glanced at Mary, who was doing her best not to gag, then at the baby. “We brought things we thought you could use, like frankincense…”

“Frankincense?” said Mary. “What is she supposed to do with that?”

“We brought other things as well,” said one of the men, kneeling by the baby. “Wait, did you say SHE?”

“Yes,” said Mary. “SHE, is what one usually calls a female child.”

“We rode all this way on those camels for a SHE?” shouted one of the magi. “What are we suppose to do with a SHE?” he moaned, throwing his hands in the air.

Mary’s aim was much better this time and the magi hit the ground hard. The baby started laughing and gurgling. “Good one mom,” she said. “These idiots can’t even recognize God when they see Her. Hit another one.”

Mary kissed the baby’s forehead, and said, “I know my darling. I know.” She threw another horse shoe, and then there was one. But he ran before she could find something to throw at him. “I think that went well,” said Mary, smiling at Joe. “Is there any place you can get me a chocolate malt and some fries? I’m absolutely starving.”


I’m an artist, a writer, a vegetarian, an animal rights activist, and quite a few other things as well. I love books, cats, philosophy, good conversation, Chicago and the arts. So my blog is full of bits and pieces but it’s the bits and pieces that make life interesting to me. You can read more of my writing at Rethinking Life

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