Home Alone – Candice Louisa Daquin

A movie with a blonde kid made everyone laugh
I think he was done for drug possession later on
people commented; See that’s what happens when
you’re famous too young

Home Alone

Watching TV in a room where the carpet hasn’t yet been lain
maybe if he’d not felt such despair they’d have bothered but
he stares out of the windows most days
I’m not sure what

Home Alone

For Xmas and Hannukah I asked for company
the door bell sat unchimed and even the clock
unwound, forgot to tick
as if all the silence in the world wasn’t sufficient

Home Alone

Every December of every year a sinking feeling
invited to the neighbors but who wants to be
sitting among someone else’s family
I did that as a kid, it wasn’t fun

Home Alone

If I could ask you to stop letting your hate of me or rather, yourself
stand in the way of being decent I’d say; Please
just do the right thing if
either of us knows what that is anymore

Home Alone

And you would reply; I didn’t want you then, I don’t want you now
grown-up children who are childless should learn
to stop feeling sorry for themselves
even on December 25th

Home Alone

I’ll never get used to setting a table for one
even the stray cat I feed outside doesn’t visit
people may never understand how hard it is to be gay
during the holidays especially

Home Alone

Before she told me to fuck off she said
it’s your fault yours alone, you chose this life style
what did you expect? A medal?
No. No mom. I expected mercy.

Home Alone

If I did drugs I might get crazy and listen to Pink Floyd
in the darkened room with the fire on and hope the warmth from
the flames stopped me feeling so empty
but I can’t put a word to it really

it’s just home alone
doesn’t feel much
like home at all
and it isn’t something
you get used to
even as you lie to yourself
and say
next year it will be
different.

Read more of Candice Louisa Daquin’s work at The Feathered Sleep and at Whisper and The Roar. You can also follow her Facebook – Candice Louisa Daquin & The Feathered Sleep.