beauty beholds me
finds me wanting. . .
cringes
at lack
of adherence
to carved commandments
lay down
in pages of glossy
fashion magazines
self-appointed
arbitrators
of what
‘making an effort’
looks like
to what I ‘should’
aspire
my hair
too thin
too gray
too badly (self) cut

do you even own a brush or comb?!

skin lined
bare
pallid except
where it is blotchy
blotchy except
where it is pallid
no mascara
lip liner
concealer to be
found

we’ve seen ghosts with more color

sighs
exasperated
at today’s ensemble-
men’s sweatpants
(dark gray? navy? black? who cares?)
shapeless
oversized sweatshirt
(mostly unstained)
worn fleece-lined
clogs
anime socks
adding spot of color
of whimsy

seriously, you leave the house in that?!
putting a bra on is NOT ‘dressing up’

beauty beholds me
finds me wanting. . .
if only
I cared

© 2022 Christine Elizabeth Ray – All Rights Reserved

Photo by Greta T on Unsplash