child sexual abuse – Brave & Reckless

Anatomy of a Flashback

I come back to myself this morning find that I am staring at the wallpaper unconsciously tracing geometric patterns with my fingertip over and over

Thunder has been rumbling for the last few weeks under my skin hair standing up on the back of my neck my arms a storm

It sits on the edge of my peripheral vision I try not to look at it pretend it’s not there She gives it a name

This poem was original published on Whisper and the Roar I am in a child welfare class in graduate school the room is full Class

Silence is the boon companion of shame I am tired so very very tired of silence of shame weighing me down pulling at my shoulders dragging

my world spins out of control i am center of the tornado called flashback dig sharp fingernails into tender palms leave angry thin red ovals

some of us spent our 20’s lost in the bottle some popped pills stuck a needle in our arms drove 100 miles an hour took

Your words of sacred poetry Take me back to the time When I wasn’t broken Before I was collateral damage To the war fought over this

From This Room is Not for Rent

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