My Morning Commute
Restless commuters
Coffee to-go cups
Noses buried in Smartphones
Kindles/Nooks/Books
Monthly Trailpasses/Smartpasses
Inadequate shelter on concrete platform
Signal Light for tain
The one commuter paying fare in coin, holding up the line, inevitablably on a rainy or frosty morning
Standing-room-only view from under an armpit
The fight through the crowded as I near my stop, anxiety heightened
My Evening Commute
Tired, subdued commuters
Loud, lively children with energy I envy
Sticky floor and discarded Metros
Contraband pizza being eaten
The guy with the bicycle nudging everyone over
Sharp curves taken at too fast a speed
Platform signs hard to read in winter dark
The commuter who desperately needs a shower and antiperspirant
My favorite conductor making humorous overhead announcements and chatting with passengers
Long walk up the steep hill to my snug house
I must say…… the word Nook threw me. It was like i stubbed my toe but kept going.
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what can I say– I have Nook, not a Kindle but 95% of the time I carry an actual book in my backpack
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ha i have never heard of Nook…. i thought, nook was like a corner of the train… gosh i have been overseas a long time…
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Barnes and Noble version of a Kindle
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love how you depict life in small pockets of verse, showing the bigger picture of their day.
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We did an assignment in my Creative Writing class last week depicting an experience in 10 objects. Clearly, I defined “objects” broadly but this was surprisingly effective in evoking the experience of my daily commute.
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i read about these classes and an amazed the things they come up with for exercise and practice. A friend in the UK has been sharing his, and I get to read his course work which inspires me to think writing is not so simple after all, but you did this one justice, there’s a flow yet, disjointed feel of all the different “objects” we see. Being on trains or buses like this has always been food for thought for me too, even walking to work, you really get to absorb the people. i am enjoying reading you.
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Thank you! This is my very first creative Writing Class and the majority of the students are undergraduates at the University I work at but I really enjoy the class and it challenging my ideas about writing form. I am hoping to get into a summer class here called Writing in a Digital Culture which pushed the envelope even further. I have also been experimenting with micro poetry on Twitter.
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i am an absolute fan of micro poetry but can’t do it, I got mixed up with a guy who did this like we do breathing, but he has since moved on to other things. Its finding the rhythm words make as they bounce and he used to tell me – feel the words, they will come, different from haiku, micro has to flow. I am still hoping he will return. i wrote one once and that was it. i would love to see your approach on this, you have lots of soul in the words.
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Actually I have been abstracting out of my larger works. Sometimes just pulling a out a poignant line, sometimes reworking, sometimes deconstructing. Kind of feels like it is giving them new life. One was “sadness swallowing you whole
too weary to fight
you are going down without a sound
slipping into deep stillness
where my arms do not reach” another was “I ignore the mouse
Scurrying in the kitchen
Non-aggression treaty intact
As long as we do not come face-to-face”
It is mostly just wordplay, fun
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yes something like this, but all the words need to bring it back to the title at the very top, then its a real micro, well to me anyway, and i am not an expert, just love this sort of style but haven’t found another master at this. i am amazed and admire some of you who have poems you can pull out from the past like that and remaster! and yes he did that usually, pulled out a section of his writing and said here’s one. he used to say it out loud and told me if it rolls off the tongue it can fall on the page. Thank you for reminding me of this memory I almost forgot.
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You got me curious and I googled it– interesting: http://micropoetry.com/twitter-micropoetry
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all the kids these days are doing this and the ones in the projects started it actually, first hand account here, and its raw and very sensual at times, even talking about school and life that is hard to live up to. i have no skill, here, verbosity has me trapped viciously and wont let go!
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Writing a few autobiographical haikus first got me past my bias that I couldn’t say much in such spare prose.
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interesting concept and thought -its hard to share the real real stuff for me
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I have been approaching them as vignettes. My favorites have been about my switch to working in social work to Neurology and an adventure I went in a men’s fetish shop
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oh nice- i am not so creative, social work to neurology, do you see any connection between the two? you have a love for adventure i see.
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I was hired because of my social work background– we work with individuals with rare early onset dementias and their families. I am often the first person a caregiver speaks to who actually understands what they are going through. A quarted of these cases are caused by genetic mutation so I often do a lot of psychoeducation and resource referral in addition to be the only administrator at the biggest neurological research center at the University.
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