bell jar towns – ashley jane

once,

i was contained

i was safe

within the confines of a bell jar town

where everyone

knew everyone

and there was no such thing

as a stranger

and people kept

their carefully constructed perfection

on display

but

i was full of secrets

and wishes

and desires

too rich for rural tongues

once

i bore scars

self-inflicted

i pretended to be fine

(oh, the lies we tell)

i wore anger like a second skin

i coveted the way people left

and never came back

my vertigo heart rose and fell

in a rhythm of

leave-go-escape

(oh, the adventure of it all)

i ran

i took a path less traveled,

a path to nowhere

and e v e r y w h e r e

to.anywhere.but.here.

i shut my eyes

and let the world fall away

i burned bridges

and became a phoenix

rising from the ashes

i chased wonder

and learned of new cultures

i sought sanctuary

in circles

that were far from secure

i placed my pain

in the arms of someone

who will probably never know

how to love

but, he knew how to make me forget

and i suppose

that is all i was really after

i let everything

collide

crumble

collapse

i opened my eyes

just in time

for it all to come together again

i met someone

who could piece together

my puzzle

and i know you don’t understand

why i had to leave

but

i almost

lost my mind

on country roads

where everyone moves so

s l o w,

as if they’ve got all the time

in the world,

as if the relationships we forged

in kindergarten

would last us until we died

you see

people need to grow,

and you cannot do that

in a town that’s defined by

Walmart

and high school football

and petty politics

and backwards thinking

i could not grow

confined

beneath the glass

of small cities

and closed minds

my hands are dirtier now,

stained with madness

and grit,

the type that seeps into your skin

and makes a home in your bones

my heart is a bit heavier now too,

and my soul carries a few bruises

but i know love

and pain

and passion

i know possibility

(oh, the magic of it all)

Ashley Jane is an indie author from Alabama. She has been writing off and on since childhood, but she only started sharing her words a few years ago. She is the co-founder of FallsPoetry prompt, which runs on both Instagram and Twitter. She also co-hosts DarkLines and DrugVerse prompts on Twitter, and she is co-admin of Her Heart Poetry and Our Poetry Journey. She has two books of poetry out: Love, Lies and Lullabies and The Mums are Filled with Melancholy. She enjoys helps other authors pursue their dreams of publishing.

You can read more of Ashley’s writing on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and WordPress